Sunday, November 16, 2008

Johnny Gets His Gun

At retail stores like Target and Kohl’s, sales are off and the forecasters are lowering their expectations for the holiday season in the wake of the Bush Recession. But, apparently, it’s not because they lack money because, at gun shops throughout the state, the bitter are in lines around the block to buy more guns to cling to. I guess happiness continues to be a warm gun.

The election of Barack Obama has reportedly set off a gun-buying frenzy among the vulnerable portion of the population made jittery by the apocalyptic screechings of their pretend friends on mainstream radio. Wing-nut Chicken Littles have been predicting for months all manner of things falling from the sky if Obama succeeded at his devious campaign to paint the White House black, install socialism, suspend the Constitution and rule by dictatorship...I mean, you can see why people might be a little confused, wandering the streets until they find themselves draining what’s left of their 401(k) and heading for the gun shop.

Somehow, I missed the "Obama will come for your guns" part of the hysterical right-wing message during the campaign. That would have been a tough one to maintain, not that they cared much about what could or could not get knocked down by reasonable people. In June, when the Supreme Court held (wrongly, I think) that the 2nd Amendment creates an individual right to bear arms, Obama spoke out in favor of the ruling. He has expressed support for reinstituting restrictions on people-killer assault weapons, but that’s hardly the sort of thing that should cause a run on regular old handguns.

"I bought them because I was afraid they were going to be outlawed," said one confused soul in the Journal Sentinel story as he bought a couple of relatively pea-shooting handguns. This brings up a couple of questions. First, where the hell did he get that idea? All over the country there are these poor people who the McCain campaign tried to poison into doing anything – anything! – but accepting Obama’s legitimacy as president and, now that it’s happened, they are just cut loose in space, free-associating on what they are going to do now. Some are buying guns. Others are planning for their personal rapture journey, because the End of Days is surely coming. Some goofy priest is inspired to smoke out Obama voters so he can deny them Communion. Most bizarre – some of those who joined Sarah Palin fan clubs back in September are actually staying in the clubs! Talk about creepy.

Another thing about the guy with the handful of handguns – why is he spending hundreds of dollars on guns he thinks the dreaded Obama Community Organizers are going to take from him? Isn’t that like throwing money away? That’s not going to be a problem for the people with the big people-killing assault weapons. You assume they are just going to barricade themselves and go all David Koresh on the evil government goons you just know Obama will cast under his Messiah-like spell.

Maybe that was the NRA’s plan all along. They weren’t really interested in who won the election and didn’t believe all the nonsense they were throwing around about Obama. But they did see an opportunity. The NRA, you see, which pretends to represent gun owners is really run by and for gun manufacturers. It wouldn’t be beyond them to play up the Fear of an Obama presidency to accomplish a little sales boomlet after the fact. Now, there are thousands more handguns out there, ready to be used in the heat of passion or by accident on family members, lovers and friends. For the NRA and its many apologists, the potential for more death and violence means a good day. Mission accomplished.


Anonymous said...

This was by far one of your most confusing and meandering posts.

So you're against law-abiding citizens purchasing guns in a legal manner? Maybe you support an added gun law where people have to provide a legimate reason for purchasing a gun?

Why not spend the time you took to write this post and talk about getting illegal guns off the street or out of the hands of those who are not legally able to possess them. That would have been far more productive.

Prosqtor said...

Let's assume for grins that Obama is a true fan of private gun ownership, and supports things like concealed carry of semiauto handguns.

Do you think he'd veto a bill passed through Congress to limit purchase/sale/possession of them, or any other kind of guns?

Obama has never done anything that went against the tide, especially the tide of his fellow Democrats in Congress. Why should a gun owner trust him and assume that gun rights would be the first time?

Mike Plaisted said...

I think the whole idea of non-hunters -- or even hunters, for that matter --buying handguns to provide themselves with a false sense of security is crazy. Handguns in the home are much more likely to be shot in anger and by accident than they are in cowboy-style home defense. Personally, I would outlaw handguns, as they do successfully in Canada.

I do think there will be a revival of the assault weapons ban, but that's as far as it goes. I would expect the Obama Justice Department to support cities -- like Chicago -- that have reasonable restrictions on handgun ownership and handling, which the Heller court would allow.

But any notion that Obama specifically or the Democrats generally would "come for your guns" by banning gun ownership is hysterical and just an effort to drive up the Fear.

And, by the way, Obama comes into office in a very strong position, including within his own party. He is not going to get rolled by anybody. Anybody that sends up legislation that he doesn't want or -- like gun bans -- would be a hot-button distraction, there will be a price to pay. Just ask Rahm Emanuel.

Anonymous said...

What did the assault weapons ban do when it was law? Did we see a huge drop murders committed by law-abiding citizens using assault weapons? And when the ban expired, did we see a spike in murders committed by law-abiding citizens using assault weapons?

A ban on handguns? Why? Millions of American safely use handguns in the sport of target shooting as well as self defense. And why are you so against law-abiding Americans defending themselves and/or their families whether it be in their homes or outside of their homes? Why do you side with and support criminals by giving them a clear advantage by supporting handgun bans? Oh wait, that's right, you're a defense attorney.

Mike Plaisted said...

I think the less handguns on the street, the less they get into the hands of criminals. I think there was something in the news some time ago that most of the "illegal" handguns confiscated by Milwaukee Police started out their careers by being legally bought at places like Badger Guns, or whatever it's called now.

Sport target shooting is one thing, but anyone who thinks the handgun in their home is going to protect them from anything is kidding themselves. In a situation where you and the bad guy are both pointing guns at each other, I would say you had less than a 50% chance of getting out of that one unharmed.

I think most gun fetishists aren't as concerned with their own safety as they are with compensating for other, er, inadequacies. Or at least that's what I understand.

But pretending that Obama is coming for your guns makes you feel sufficently victimized. And that's what really makes you happy.

Anonymous said...

Oops Mike, it looks like you may need to also ban shotguns:

Man grabs shotgun during fight over pizza order
Nov. 17, 2008 3:54 p.m. | Brookfield - There's no word on whether they were arguing over sausage or pepperoni, but things got a bit heated between two brothers Friday while they were ordering a heated that one of them picked up a shotgun during the dispute.

Police were called to their home, surrounded the house and the brother with the gun surrendered to officers.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Hell, who cares why they are buying guns, just so long as they keep buying 'em!

Anonymous said...

Mike Plaisted says: "But any notion that Obama specifically or the Democrats generally would "come for your guns" by banning gun ownership is hysterical and just an effort to drive up the Fear."

Oh, really?

Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif., on CBS "60 Minutes": "If I could have gotten 51 votes in the Senate of the United States for an outright ban, picking up every one of them -- Mr. and Mrs. America, turn them all in -- I would have done it."

Anonymous said...

Are Bible sales up also? And church attendance? I've forgotten what the other thing was that these people cling to...? Apex - it's clear Feinstein is talking about assault weapons. Mike's right - fear drives the clingers.

-Joe Mamma

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...
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Mike Plaisted said...

I thought I could quietly un-moderate my comments, but the asshole is back, so here we go again. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

Hey Anony 5:23-

You sure talk smart for someone who obviously never got out of the 3rd grade. You want to use that racist crap around me? Come on over to my house and I'll show you exactly what you can do with that little hate mongering racist crap. Be a "man" post your e-mail so you can actually stand up behind your hate. It sure is easy to sound like a boy from the south when you don't have to worry about anyone finding out who you are.

YOu are one pathetic piece of crap.

Zach W. said...

"Mike, you bitter devisive hate mongering liberal coward. The hate you and you cowardly liberals have shown Bush (personally) and all things conservative. This country is still solidly center-right. The only thing the nigger has done is assured that Republicans will regain control quicker. When Obamaramma takes current 6.5% unemployment numbers and turns them into 35%, by raising taxes and creating huge government welfatre programs, this country will lynch the nigger faster thana CC Sabathia fastball."

Interestingly enough, comments like these someone made over at my blog ended up with that person getting a visit from the US Secret Service. I only hope anonymous is that lucky!

AutismNewsBeat said...

Mike, I don't know how you do it. By day you defend assholes in court, and by night you have to take their shit in the comment section on your blog.

I still haven't seen one good explanation from any of the wingers here why it's necessary to stock up on handguns. Aren't there enough already? It's not like they have a freshness date stamped on the barrel.