You Say You Want a Revolution? Really?

Still trying to wake from my own posting slump, I had a little fun yesterday in the comment section of Owen Robinson’s Boots & Sabers blog. Robinson, with the help of fellow-traveler Charlie Sykes and others, has somehow developed a side-career as Wisconsin’s premier nut-right blogger. This, even though (when he’s not trying to purify the West Bend school board) his blog consists primarily of pasting-in commentary and news from others with nothing but a pithy “heh” or “wow” comment of his own. His position as the go-to guy for what passes for right-wing “thought” shows how weak the competition is for that dubious honor.

This week, Robinson decided to stretch a bit and expound on the possibility – no, probability – of violent revolution in the United States, now that the democratic process has had the temerity to produce a Democratic president and Congress that has actually managed to accomplish something with health insurance reform. Taking power in our glorious republic by force is apparently something the right-wingers discuss seriously while cleaning their guns over a few beers in Robinson’s garage. Robinson comes down squarely on the “just a matter of time” side, speculating that the Wing-Nut Revolution would come “around 2035 or 2040". This would put it somewhere around Malia Obama’s first term or the Rapture, whichever comes first.

Why then? “That’s when the crushing weight of what we are doing will no longer be able to be sustained and it will only take a small spark to ignite a conflagration,” writes Robinson. Oh. And why is the violent overthrow of American constitutional government necessary again? “We are headed down a path with exploding entitlements funded by taxation and the prospects of a less robust - or declining - economy and a demographic shift. Fewer and fewer people paying more and more to support out of control entitlements that are tweaked at the whims of politicians. It’s a powder keg.”

Well, obviously. I mean, a little entitlement here, a little taxation there...these are the kinds of things that have always sparked violent revolution, like in...ummm...well, nowhere, but who says we can’t be original? It will be the first revolution of the over-taxed landed gentry. To arms! You have nothing to lose but your shrubbery!

I joke, but this is serious stuff for the tyranny-and-liberty crowd. They are so worked up into a lather about the uppity Negro in the White House, they can barely contain themselves. Egged on by the right-wing media into thinking that the Constitution is being subverted by the entirely legal actions of their legally elected representatives, the Tea Baggers stand on the astro-turf of their phony, well-paid grassroots and bark at the moon. Soaking up the unearned attention and legitimacy bestowed on them by pliant real and fake (Fox) news outlets, they hurl racial slurs and spit towards black lawmakers who, like the president, would dare to exercise their well-earned political franchise. Wrapping themselves up in the flag and perverted, self-serving definitions of words like “freedom” and “liberty”, they are the ultimate anti-Americans – unable to win elections and unwilling to accept the results of the democratic process when they lose.

I’d worry about this more if the right-wing wind-bags were more of a threat than they are. As it is, they have painted themselves into a political and social corner, talking only to each other in a language only they understand, constructing arguments based on facts only they believe. Still, I wish they would try to start a violent revolution, just for the sheer entertainment value of their guaranteed failure. “How far do you think a couple hundred of your fellow nutballs will get on the way to Washington?” I asked in Robinson’s comment section. “I’m guessing you get turned around about, oh, Nashville. The Feds aren’t even going to bother to arrest your treasonous asses—just pat you on the head and tell you to come back when you get a clue.”

The whole notion of a violent revolution simply because the American political system is just too much for you is arrogance at its worst. They know better, you see, and if you don’t agree, they will make their point and achieve their selective notion of “liberty” at the point of a gun. Or, as I wrote in comment 30:

“Your problem isn’t that there is no democracy; it’s that your crackpot ideas can’t win in a democracy. So you grab your racist signs and your little toy guns and you try to intimidate us into submission by threatening violence. Typical bully tactics by people who know they are wrong.


And I’ll do what I’ve always done with bullies: Laugh at them. Because you guys are funny. Truly amusing. Especially when you lose. I haven’t watched anything but Fox “News” for a week. You can’t make up comedy like this.”